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weekly whinge

weekly whinge

  • Stand By Your Man

    Stand by your man
    or even behind him
    since as you well know
    behind every successful man

    Stand by your man
    in the name of fair play
    anti-racism and anti-sexism
    (will an honourable hand-shake do)

    Stand by your man
    duly chastised from above
    (fined 30 pieces of silver)
    some footballers close ranks
    team-solidarity on a T-shirt
    business is as is usual

    I didn’t mean to hurt you
    it was just a cultural slip-up
    – I don’t talk to blacks –
    it sounds almost like home
    a tête-à-tête amidst kinsmen

    (Perchance he missed
    the Learning is Forever Programme
    back in his native Uruguay)

    While here we put up with
    a jou ma se k- p- I hear
    from a male taxi driver
    on the Hanover Park route
    and a mother-city-station hawker
    offers someone her middle finger

    But wait
    maybe I am
    getting ahead

    After all it is
    only a game
    on and off of the field

    The hawker and the taxi driver chided accordingly, doing the norm just up your Cape Flats street; while a non-local footballer makes the news with  his tribal greeting – a few times over – in Spanish, out in the old empire, deliberating its way into the new year. And you can read about the Learning is Forever Programme in the latest Adult Education and Development journal, number 77 2011 (Non-formal Continuing Education – The Uruguayan Experience).

    David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com.

  • He (Has) Tickled My Fancy

    He (has) tickled my fancy
    declares a sports presenter
    of our sports minister
    he being quite active

    He being quite active
    in a manner of speaking
    (tickled some other fancy
    but we won’t talk about that
    says the sports presenter)

    Okay it is, too many say,
    one’s little bit on the side
    as long as the work gets done
    and we are in the right
    shade of politics

    He (has) tickled my fancy
    16 days of activism not yet
    the flavour of the month
    so women and children
    we put you at risk in between

    He (has) tickled my fancy
    like other higher-ups have
    be they gypsies, nomads,
    or lesbians even

    He (has) tickled my fancy
    has our sports minister
    maybe feeding an extra mouth
    (the next census is when)

    We won’t talk about that
    he being quite active
    since there seems not to be
    ‘deleterious public consequences’
    to his little bit on the side

    He (has) tickled my fancy
    (proving his African manhood)
    what might he do to yours
    come vote-catching time

    SAFM’s Saturday afternoon sports-fellow tickles my fancy, whilst the beloved country’s “I am also not a lesbian” Agriculture Minister goes on the full frontal (“Minister ‘trekked around’ but not in caravan’, Argus, 5 Nov 2011),).  Remember, “[Lennit] Max sex allegations a private matter, says Zille”, Cape Times February 15 2010?

    David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com

  • Will You Still (Love Me Tomorrow)

    Will you still
    love me tomorrow
    the morning after

    The morning after
    casting your vote
    maybe your first
    (possibly even your last)

    The morning after
    you were wooed
    by the promise
    of a brighter day

    Will you still
    love me tomorrow
    when you come down
    from the high of the event

    Will your heart be broken
    by the grinning vote-catcher
    like a suitor brimful
    of potential the previous day

    The morning after
    still dizzy and light-headed
    from the ecstasy of voting
    (do you feel it, still)

    Will you still
    love me tomorrow
    the morning after
    (I have delivered my x)

    Will I still see
    your face at my door
    and not just at election time

    Or will you be
    just so far away
    and me pregnant
    with so much expectation

    I misquote some folk singer, the morn after I vote in the old village for the first time.

    David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com

  • Up A Pole

    Up a pole
    in a leafy suburb
    is our youth leader
    wasting his posters
    according to someone
    who allegedly knows
     
    Up a pole
    raised there he was
    by heaving comrades
    (the price we pay
    for our sushi elite)
     
    Up a pole
    the folk we tend to see
    at that time of the season
    making those promises
    (brimful still with charm)
     
    Catchy slogans trying
    to catch your precious vote
    appealing to communities
    to stand behind them
    (so that you can’t see)
     
    Delivery the buzzword
    the flavour still
    the remedy for all
    a better life if only
    just for the now
     
    We go forth then
    (with all our phobias)
    to make our mark
    to sooth the conscience
    until the next time
     
    The ANC Youth League’s main man-person is up a pole, all suitably besuited, in a leafy ghetto-homeland near you; whilst others go walk-about into the great unbeknown.

    David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com.

  • To What Degree (Will We Force You)

    To what degree
    will we force you
    to be a part of the new
    Azania that is here
    (can you feel it)
     
    To what degree
    will we force you
    to graduate in the way
    we want you to
    (literate and numerate)
     
    To what degree
    will we force you
    on your life’s journey
    through your ivory tower
    (spare the rod and spoil)
     
    To what degree
    will we force you
    to learn another language
    in the name of nation-building
    (you of very little patriotism)
     
    May the force take custody
    of you and rote-learn you
    you cussing, spitting, littering
    smoking and drinking graduate
    (from your cradle too)
     
    May the force
    of our comrade-minister
    open the corners of your mind
    and drag you fluently
    into a better life for us all

    Our well-meaning red-tie Higher Education Minister goes all indigenous, all in the name of nation-building. See Max Du Preez’s Pale Native column – “Open your mind to speaking diversity” (Cape Times, 12 April 2011); and at least 1 violent response to it in the form of a Letter to the Editor, headed “Insulting language” (Cape Times, 13 April 2011), which concludes ‘Du Preez decided to take a break from singing Madame Zille’s praises …. harping for the return of apartheid and colonialism through DA rule’.
     
    David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com

  • Soap and Water

    Soap and water
    advises a navy person
    assisting recovery efforts
    out Japan-way
     
    Soap and water
    to scrub off radiation
    from vessels
     
    Soap and water
    an age-old remedy
    in the modern age
     
    (where the lucky poor
    feed off dumped food –
    who or what is past
    the sell-by-date)
     
    Soap and water
    for cussing footballers
    perhaps politicians too
    will do the trick
     
    Soap and water
    like the garlic solution
    to wash away our troubles
     
    Soap and water
    will save our women
    and our children
    (spare the rod)
     
    Soap and water
    in a time of acquisitiveness
    yet another panacea
    for all our ills
     
    “Floating debris ‘more risky’ than radiation” (Cape Times Business Report, April 6 2011). And, one supposes, a football role model’s swearing orifice.

    David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com

  • This Is Not Just (Our Bright Idea)

    This is not just
    our bright idea
    Infrastructure Standards
    is in our Schools Act
    in Section 5A

    This is not just
    our bright idea
    a National Policy passed
    because of campaigning
    by Equal Education

    This is not just
    our bright idea
    carried through
    when youth marched
    on Human Rights Day

    This is not just
    no electricity in 3,600 schools
    no water supply in 2 444
    no stocked libraries in 92%
    (no decent school infrastructure)

    This is not just
    our bright idea
    a commitment made
    by the Education Minister
    that these Standards must
    be in force by 1 April 2011

    (schools not functioning properly
    no proper physical resources
    children in mud schools
    in the Eastern Cape)

    This is not just

    Responding to Equal Education’s call – after their Human Rights Day march of 20 000 people – to write to the Minister of Basic Education, Angie Motshekga, demanding Minimum Norms & Standards for School Infrastructure.

    David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com.

  • He Went (Into the Open)

    He went into the open
    colouring our new democracy
    (with all its warts and all)

    The new South Africa
    where dark thoughts
    abound behind the veil
    of your group-kraal

    He should have stayed
    inside of the strictures
    of the party walls
    and the Constitution
    (nobody blessed him)

    He went into the open
    with an over-supply
    of backward-speak
    apartheid Verwoerd-style
    (later ones had style too)

    He went into the open
    feet-first did he
    our government’s voice
    in the social engineering sector

    He went into the open
    unlike the many
    whose phobias
    are sheltered

    One view in public
    come 16 days of activism
    and national political holidays
    another in the private
    of sushi festivities

    He went into the open
    strayed from the collective
    of our rainbow nation

    At least he went

    The ANC secretary-general does the “He went into the open” (Cape Times, March 3 2011 – “Manyi row: Zuma steps in”). “Manyi row: Zuma steps in”).

    - David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com

  • We Two Too

    We two too
    would have been
    out Blomvlei Primary way
    had we remembered
    to be
     
    We two too
    Lansdowne librarian Ian Gordon
    and left-handed I, David Kapp
     
    We two too
    support the cause
    of Equal Education’s
    Campaign for School Libraries
     
    one school one library
    less than one percent
    of the education budget
    is all it would take
     
    less than one percent
    of the education budget
    for a library in every school
    in the country (over 10 years)
     
    We two too
    then read about
    your home from home
    (out Hanover Park way)
    where you will grow
    after the school day
     
    We two too
    the two of us
    we too
    forgot
     
    How many more
    have forgotten
    (or not yet discovered)
    the joy of books
    and libraries too
    Quite mortified am I, at our forgetfulness, reminded by the Cape Times article “Equal Education opens another library” (CT, February 28 2011) of the grand event.
     
    David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com

  • To Soon To Say

    To soon to say
    observed a leader
    when asked about
    the French Revolution
    and its upshot
    a wee while ago
     
    To soon to say
    our football extravaganza
    trade-marked and everything
    our mornings-after stadiums
    and associated head-aches
     
    To soon to say
    (to reap the benefits)
    articulates a talking head
    speaking about Business Tourism
    on SAFM afternoon radio
     
    To soon to say
    we need to be patient
    Rome was not built
    in the weekend after
    a State of the Nation address
    (we want immediate results)
     
    In the meantime
    with our mud schools
    learners lacking textbooks
    we can’t have our cake
    and eat it

    Having my say, not a moment to soon after the said talking head left the building, the afternoon of 15 Feb 2011.
     
    -          David Kapp, david_kapp@yahoo.com

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